Wednesday, August 17, 2005

IPods Of Evil


Apparently, as outlined recently by the Tyee's Tom Barrett, union busting at Telus is now known as a 'culture of a competitive meritocracy'.

And to help facilitate it all 'The Man' at Telus, Darren Entwhistle, has instituted the power of the 'Fi Fo' strategy which, if you are a numbers cruncher, is not quite what you think it is:

"In accounting, it stands for "first in, first out." At Telus, after Entwistle's arrival, it stood for "fit in or f**k off. "

But now it has gone one step further as The Man's minions attempt to cajole workers into becoming become scabs by offering them the latest from 'Jobs'.

Steve Jobs that is.

"Bruce Okabe, Telus vice-president of business solutions, confirmed that digital music players are being offered to workers who agree to cross the picket line and return to work under a new imposed contract agreement.

"Supplying MP3 players to employees was our idea," said Okabe.

"It allows them to plug in and cross the line without having to listen to threats and catcalls on the picket line."

He said the players are worth $60-$100.

Telecommunications Workers Union spokesman Ron Palmer said the player being offered is in fact a $300 IPod unit."


What's next?

Will The Man offer up tailor-made Stepford Wives to the first 100 red-blooded Linemen to sell their brothers and sisters down the river and cross the line?

And what if the only taker was a Alberta!

Update: But seriously. Wouldn't it be ironic in the extreme if the locked-out workers were to take a few thousand of the little Jobssian players on spec and then simultaneously plug them into Woody Guthrie, Billy Bragg or, maybe even best of all given the tenor of the times, Dewey Finn stickin' it to 'The Man' while they close ranks and dig in for the duration.


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