Sunday, August 11, 2019

Things I Think About...

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The founder of the separatist group 'Wexit Alberta' Peter Downing is on the stump and Global News is only too happy to help him amplify a message that, apparently, 3 of 10 folks in that fine province think is worth considering:

...Downing says he’s willing to give (Alberta Premier Jason) Kenney a chance with getting pipelines built and succeeding with constitutional challenges.

“If Jason Kenney does not deliver what Albertans want, they are going to give us a shot,” Downing said...


Gosh.

Can't help but wonder...

Now that Mr. Dunning has put Mr. Kenney on notice does this mean that the latter's super-fine war room will soon crank up its flying surrender monkey squadrons to blitzkrieg bop all things W(r)exit?


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5 comments:

e.a.f. said...

omg, that is funny! so if they're a foreign country why would the rest of the country even care what they wanted or did. A land locked country, not the smartest thing to have. They don't do well in the long run. Everything has to move through another country. Count in the customs people having to sort through everything, oh, well no one ever said some of those right wingers in Alberta were all that smart.

Kenny ought to have kept his big mouth shut to begin with. Did he really think he could get Horgan to agree to a pipe line when Notley couldn't. oh, poor, poor Jason, Perhaps Jason thought he was still in the federal government and had some national clout.

RossK said...

e.a.f.--

But think of how ethical that super-fine Petro State would be!


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e.a.f said...

oh, yes, how very ethical, screamingly funny! Jason Kenny and ethical in the same thought, yikes!

Lew said...

“ Dear Mr. Downing,

Thank you for your interest in joining the Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries (OPEC).

At this time we are only considering applications from nations with a coastline and suitable port facilities, and those that own and control their own export infrastructure.

Should your nation’s circumstances change in the future, please feel free to resubmit your application.

Yours sincerely...”

Scotty on Denman said...

The Albetarian election is over (the come-out-of-nowhere, incumbent Dipper government retained a respectable, couple dozen, Loyal Opposition seats in defeat and rendered the plurality of non-governing parties in the Assembly—which was characteristic of a string of previous parliaments there—to but one), but the new, conservative premier Jason KeKKenney yet effuses separation anxiety with respect federal politics whence he and his leader Stephen Harper came, both having beat it back to Albetar, in defeat, whence neither of them originally came, but which is contiguous with what the American White Christian Right call the “Redoubt”, a mythical region centred about Idaho and Montana (‘redoubt’, n. a defensively remote place where strategically inferior forces can theoretically recuperate and build up strength to retake lost territory and wreak revenge upon victorious return, in this case similar to “Deseret” which 19th-century Mormon refugees fleeing sectarian persecution called their aspirational nation and which today’s “Redoubt” partly overlaps on the north).

Students of history will note that early Mormon leaders designed “Deseret” to evolve from a mainly defensive redoubt to a bona fide, sovereign nation and nexus of Mormon proselytizing around the world (the Mormon ‘Prophet’ Joseph Smith Jr had, prior to his flight from the East and lynching in the Mid-West, proselytized successfully in Upper Canada, and some of his immediate successors established many Mormon parishes in England which also supplied “Deseret” (unrecognized by any nation) with over 40,000 immigrants and maintains one of the largest extra-American Mormon communities to this day). However, the vision was gradually disappointed as confederation of new states with the USA carved off large chunks of the Mormon-claimed ‘promised land’ until only Utah Territory remained, surrounded and landlocked, its dream of nationhood, for all intents and purposes, forever denied. Students might also note —and wonder—that the same geographic logic would also apply to the equally remote and landlocked province of Albetar.

What advantage Albetar could get by separating from Canada should be obvious by looking at any high-school atlas, fast-food place-mat or kiddies’ colouring book with a picture of Canada in it. Although uncharted waters aren’t mapped in the landlocked Albetarian fastness, its premier ought to be careful (helm and life-jacket) threatening separation whilst waterskiing behind the taught apron string of Canadian federation—he might sink if throttled down and have to ignominiously haul himself to back to safety on that very same rope—or have the bullshit battered out of him if he loses his ski but refuses to let go when throttled-up. Or float like pickerel bait if he lets go entirely, skis or no.

When the Mormons’ terrestrial dreams were finally dashed by the obstinate Brigham Young’s passing (hitherto, US federal troops manned cannons in the hills overlooking Salt Lake City while US soldiers guarded the residences of federal judges during Utah’s probationary application for statehood), the celestial aspirations of old-school Mormon polygamists could only be achieved by beating it to nearby unorganized territories, the ‘spare-cloth’, charter territory of British North America which became Albetar being one (polygamy was banned in 1890, prerequisite to Utah’s confederation). The largest Mormon Temple outside the USA is still in southwest Albetar, yet despite the remote, inhospitable territory’s requisite acceptance of a variety of communal Christian anarchists fleeing persecution in Eastern Europe, polygamists were eventually compelled to retreat like Doukhobors to the mountain fastness of southeast British Columbia—where they recently found that, eventually, you can run but you can’t hide—something Jason should remember.