If You Only Read One (Non-Political) Blog Post Today...

There'sAWholeCelluloidWorldStuffUpThose
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...Go Read 'The Siren's' piece on Kim Novak:

She was born Marilyn Novak in Chicago in 1933, and she always said she never wanted to be an actress, much less a star. She came to California as “Miss Deep Freeze,” demonstrating appliances on a sales tour. She said, “I could open a refrigerator door gracefully, that was it, period. I could see where a lot of time might go by before any movie studio would want a girl to open an icebox.”...

{snippety doo-dah}

...Which brings us to last night's Oscars.

As we age, the fat that plumps the skin and makes it glow inexorably begins to disintegrate. Because this is 2014, and we’re on our way to curing women of the worst thing that can happen to them— getting old — doctors can solve this terrible problem with injectable fillers.

So let’s say — just as a hypothetical for-instance — you are an 81-year-old star whose last movie was in 1991 and who hasn’t been to the Oscars in many a long year. Not that you were ever nominated for one in the first place; you were, after all, a sex symbol for most of your career. As the evening approaches, the anxiety sets in. Harsh lights, you think. High-definition cameras. And a public that remembers you chiefly as the ice goddess whose beauty once drove James Stewart to the brink of madness.

And even back then, when you were 25 years old, you worried constantly that no matter how you looked, it wasn’t good enough.

So a few weeks before the ceremony, you go to a doctor, and he says, “Relax honey. I have just the thing to make you fresh and dewy for the cameras.”... 

Now.

If you've hung on this long, go read the entire post.

Because when you're done, if you had a an ounce of snark in you as you watched Ms. Novak on the Oscars the other night (and, sheepishly I must confess that there was an ounce or two sloshing around at our house), it will all be gone for good.

OK?


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As an aside, if you like movies and you are not reading 'The Siren' regularly you are really missing out.


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