Big Grover and Little Gordo

Kamloops, British Columbia
50° 40' North; 120° 20' West

Big Grover Norquist, the Neandercon King who gives Karl Rove his marching orders, is the guy who came up with the idea of chronically underfunding public programs such that they eventually, shrink, curl, cringe and atrophy to the point where the public will perceive them as being so useless that they start screaming for them to be taken one by one, into the bathroom to be drowned in the tub.

Clearly, it is very difficult to ignore the fact that this recent business of creating a phony 'nursing crisis' that triggered the outsourcing of surgeries from St. Paul's Hospital is the 2nd hand around the neck of our own cherished Public Health Care system (the first hand was the jacking-up of MSP premiums).

But that was expected.

What wasn't expected was the fact that Little Gordo and his minions would decide to drown our wild salmon in their own excrement by shrinking the funding to rebuild BC's forest industry-destroyed rivers and streams to just 20% of its 2001 (ie. NDP-funded) levels.

And now it is well known wacko, way gone lefty, and eco-terrorist, Provincial Auditor General Wayne Strelioff (and accountant!) who is calling the Campbell government out on this issue because he, Strelioff, is very concerned that the wild Salmon will be soon be gone forever.

Repeating. Forever. As in..... For All Time.

All because of a strangulation strategy that has saved a measly $40 million a year out of the Provincial Salmon Conservation Program (that's approximately 4% of the two week short, '24-Hour-Party People' 2010 Olympic Budget).

Of course none of this really matters though because, sure as a vengeful and spiteful god made sour little green apples, the Ferret's $30 million dollar Whirlitzer has already been programmed for an early spring photo-op on some Sandspur near Kamloops where the Thompson meets the Fraser. There, under the glare of a halogen-backlit, faux groundhog day sky, Mr. Campbell will announce a brand spanking never been seen before, better than ever, New Era, scientifically disproven, $1.01743 million pilot program to have Maximus manage the outsourcing of Stikine Salmon to the Fraser/Georgia Straight Watershed that will be assisted by jetboat-propelled tourist attractions carved into the canyon cliffs at 10 km intervals (fully equipped with gameboys and wireless internet access and rented out in US dollars unless, of course, the latter falls below par by then, in which case they will switch to Euros....just like BigOil which is rumored to be a major corporate sponsor of the program).

And Johnny VanD has likely already had a private moment with the Premier and told him not to worry because his staff will be sure to shake the sea-lice off the farmed Atlantic Salmon that they will truck in for the event, and the cameras.

(Paul Willcocks has the measured and balanced scoop on this story. Me, I'm more steamed about the thing than Rafe Mair with downrigger hooks stuck in his thumbs.)