Do What Sooey Says.

AllTheShortStoriesThatFit
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Yesterday, I posted a picture from my morning ride that led to a fun discussion about the raking leaves, etc., in the comment thread.

Coincidentally (or perhaps not), one of my favourite writers in the Eastern Canadian bloggodome, 'Sooey' soon thereafter posted-up a fantastic piece originally titled 'Will Rake For Food'.

One of the things I like most about Sooey's writing is her digressions that go madly off in all kinds of directions, usually towards the most interesting locations, and then, somehow, you end up at a singular destination that all makes sense in the end.

And then (of course) there is the fact that I really dig her world view.

Anyway, here is the top part from Sooey's  leaf raking post:

Last Sunday, we were in our spots, my Beau and I, surfing the net, when the doorbell rang. I would have answered, but I was in my housecoat and it was early afternoon, so my Beau, who is inclined to ignore unsolicited communication, was urged to “see who it is”.

I’m too curious by half and will even answer cell calls that I’m almost 100% sure are from Rogers, which is having a hard time accepting that we broke up. It keeps trying to lure me back with $25 gift certificates and rates off its overpriced (?) dismal (!) services. Alas, I am so distrusting of Rogers now, after it cheated on me (no need for details, you know the drill, I’m sure, dear Sooey Says reader(s)), that I won’t accept anything less than 100% free cable.

Oh, and why don’t I have caller i.d.? Because even when I did, I still answered every call – on account of I’m TOO CURIOUS BY HALF!

Before I got my Beau to do the honours, however, I peeked through the clear glass lines in our frosted door design (inherited, fussy, and will never change because we don’t renovate, we adapt) and ascertained that there was a middle-aged woman standing on the other side of it holding a rake. This is a necessary thing to do because on those occasions when said person on the other side of the door has been from one of those “energy” “companies”, my Beau can lose his temper, which makes me nervous because I figure it only eggs them on to fraudulently sign you up for its after dark kneecapping special.

Warning to “energy” “company” fraudsters: Stay away from houses with frosted glass designs on their doors.

And this is off topic, but I realized the other day that the Mike Harris legacy is death, fraud, and his Little Shits (Franks passim) moving on to mooch off the public purse at the next level of government.

As he listened to the communication from the lady holding the rake, I eavesdropped from behind the wall that doesn’t quite stretch far enough so that when you’re sitting watching Netflix (1/4 the price of basic cable, if you’re curious and a little antennae thingie will get you TVO, CTV and, I hope, CBC – cripes, we’d better get CBC – we’re paying for it, anyway – I’ll let you know after my Beau exercises his manliness and sets us up) the hall light shines in your eyes and you have to get up and dim the switch (please stop renovating perfectly adequate houses, previous owners).

“Hi, I’m so sorry for bothering you on a Sunday, but I wonder if I could rake your lawn? I’m going door-to-door offering my services to raise $20 so I can feed my kids. I have 5. The thing is, I start a job tomorrow, but I’m completely out of cash today. My partner died and I was a homemaker and everything is tied up for a while, and -”

Which was when I came out from behind the wall, pushed past my Beau, and shoved $20 into her hand...

Now - go and read the rest of what Sooey said....

You won't be sorry.

.