Monday, May 16, 2005

Carnal Knowledge

Post Moved to the Top For Election Eve (newer stuff below)
First Posted Sat May 14th @8:30am


"He was sunk in despair. He was desperate... he called his equally depressed campaign manager and instructed him to.....accuse his high-riding opponent (the pig farmer) of having routine carnal knowledge of his barnyard sows, despite the pleas of his wife and children... His campaign manager was shocked. 'We can't say that, Lyndon,' he said. 'It's not true.' 'Of course it's not,' Johnson barked at him, 'but let's make the bastard deny it.'..."
Hunter Thompson, on Lyndon Johnson's 1948 Congressional Campaign.

" ...this is a tremendous wedge issue being handed to us on a silver platter! Please spread the word to your contacts."
Irene Barr, President, BC Liberal Women's Commission
In an E-Mail to supporters sent before publication of The Smear

"Late last night, British Columbians learned of a BC Teachers Federation secret plan to hold a strike vote days after the provincial election. It’s a duplicitous plan meant to engineer a school strike only weeks before provincial exams that would throw our school system into chaos. It’s obvious that both the NDP and the BCTF have been trying to hide their true intentions. They’ve run a campaign of deception, half truths and misinformation."
Gordon Campbell, On The Campaign Trail, May 12, 2005

"This is a totally manufactured issue."

Rod Mickleburgh, May 14, 2005 on CBC's 28 Days.
The first, and only, member of the mainstream media
to uncategorically Smack the Smear Down

So, in the spirit of the times, someone walking among us might be wondering if there are any crackerjack staffers out there working for a yet to be formed political party who are rumouredly speculating, entirely off the record of course, if the following question might possibly be a wedgie-in-waiting if it were to be asked, hypothetically, by a non-existent media member on the campaign trail:

Is it true that a now convicted drunk driver from British Columbia secretly and duplicitously visited a barnyard while vacationing, alone, on the Island of Maui in the first month of the third year of the new millenium?

Update, 11:38am Sat May 14th (after walking to the corner store to get today's Globe): Mr. Mickleburgh's full and measured view on the matter, the smearing of the BCTF, not the non-existent barnyard query, can be found here.


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