Wednesday, April 01, 2009

RailGate Spectacular.....CEO Orders Minions To Release Everything!

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Apparently, according to the Dean of the Parliamentary Press Gallery, British Columbia's CEO, after watching a steady stream of declining positivity numbers in the polls that his cracker-jack research team has told him is being driven, in large part, by the 'Skullduggery Factor', has just ordered his minions to release everything.

All the files!

All the documents!

All the privileges!

All the lawyers!

Heckfire, loose lips sinking battleships (and train locomotives?) are reportedly roaming the Ledge corridors screaming, to anyone who will listen and/or isn't pounding a crackberry, that the CEO is now insisting that the General change his name from 'Stonewall' to 'Gaping-Hole-In-The-Wall'.

The General, quoted by the Goodship Watercarrier, is reported to have responded thusly:

General: Fine with me....As the Generalissimo I hate politics anyway. And besides, I've always wanted to be the High Holyness of Subterranean Judice Priests! Whadd'ya wanna know Bill?

Watercarrier: Uhhh??....Lemme see....How about a tough one?....like, maybe....I know!....What does Paddy K. like for lunch?


Meanwhile, in a gesture of true and lasting transparency, rumour has it that operatives once, but no longer, associated with the CEO's holiday party planning committee have removed every single ceiling panel from the palatial offices of everybody's favorite RailGate man about town and fine jewelery, Mister T.

April 1st, 2009..... A day that will go down in RailGate Infamy!
(or some such wishful thinking thing)

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In tangentially un-related news, apparently the CEO is so giddy with transparency that he has ordered all staffers of the PABst Blue Ribbon Bureau to bcc all of their E-Mails to Sean Holman....What's that?....It's been happening for years?.....Nevermind....

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