Sunday, April 29, 2007

The Gnuest Response To Al Gore


(Not) News (Not) Release(d)

(Parenthetic) Responses To Minister Baird Response to (the Fabulous) Statements by Former U.S. Vice President Al Gore

(Not) OTTAWA , April 28, 2007 - With respect to the comments of former United States Vice President Al Gore, the (not so) Honourable John Baird, the (Gnuist) Minister of the (Anti)Environment, made the following (de-obfuscated by the parantheses) statement:

“Former Vice-President Al Gore deserves acknowledgement for the success of his film in highlighting the huge ecological challenge of climate change. It is (not)regrettable, (at all) however, that the former Vice President has criticized Canada’s recently released (and highly fraudulent) action plan to (ensure that we will not ever have to really) cut greenhouse gases and air pollution.

“It is difficult to (not)accept (this entirely legitimate) criticism from someone who preaches about climate change, but who never submitted the Kyoto Protocol to a vote in the United States Senate (while our friends and allies, The Republicans, had a hammerlock on it), who never did as much as Canada('s) (Gnu Republican Party) is now doing to (stop the real) fight (against) climate change during eight years in Office (which ended fully seven years before the IPCC report was released), and who has campaigned exclusively for hundreds of Democratic candidates who have (real, but admittedly) weaker plans (than the E.U.) to fight greenhouse gases. (Thus, it is not surprising in the least that Mr. Gore does not support) Canada’s New(ly Norquistian) Government (of even Newerly Straussian Proportions).

“It is equally (not) regrettable that the former US Vice President decided to speak out without ever having been briefed (so that he could not first be bamboozled) on the contents of our (ridiculous, but media elegant) plan.

"The fact is our plan is vastly tougher (especially when it comes to completely empty rhetoric and doublespeak) than any measures introduced by the Administration of which the former Vice President was a member."

“I am ready to meet with Mr. Gore (needles in hand) at any time to discuss the climate change threat and our Government's tough plan to reduce (if not completely eliminate) Canada's (regulatory controls on oilpatch and tar sands) emissions”.

For more (non)information, please (don't even bother)contact(ing):

Eric (For An Ever)Richer (Oil Patch)
(Keepin' Him Away From The Real) Press Secretary
Office of the Minister of the (Anti) Environment
(613) 697-8079


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