Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Nevermind The Budget Bollocks...The VSun Has 'Real' News To Cover!

ButWhatIfTheWeatherStarts
GettingALittleRoughVille



Yes that's right!

As you can see by the red circle we've added to the image above, this important bit of news, which was published late last week in the Vancouver Sun's 'News' section, is the kind of most excellent reportage that will just keep on keepin' on, even after 100 years, because, and I quote:


"...The news is still the news..."


Now.

What is all the exciting 'news' in this story that the poor, unfortunate VSun 'news' reporter was forced(?) to put his by-line on top of?

Well....

Shall we have a look while we wait for all those very important newsier people to sneak a few peaks from inside the boring old budget lock-up?

Sure.

Why not:

Does your idea of a good time involve gargling grape with Gismondi? Waxing eloquent on wisteria with Whysall? Or maybe pondering provincial politics with Palmer?

The Vancouver Sun is offering a chance for a couple hundred diehard readers to do just that on its 100th-anniversary Alaskan cruise that leaves Vancouver this fall.

The weeklong cruise starts Sept. 12 and will drop by Juneau, Skagway and Glacier Bay National Park and Ketchikan before heading back to Vancouver...



Sound great?

Sound newsier than, say, a Howe St. penny-stock promo's press release?

Well, just in case it does not.....There's more!

Heckfire, the reporter even gets to quote the paper's owners' marketing manager in the hostest-with-the-mostest's most newsworthy way:

...“Passengers are going to have unique access to the opinions of, and conversations with, The Sun’s most unique personalities,” said Patricia Wu, marketing manager with Pacific Newspaper Group, the parent company of The Sun and The Province.

Passengers can take part in one of three complimentary wine-tasting events with wine specialist Anthony Gismondi, attend special movie screenings and get a unique glimpse into The Sun’s editorial process.

“They’ll get insight into how the newspaper makes decisions and how content goes online,” Wu said.

Journalists are notorious for being glued to their mobile devices. While some writers will still be connected to the newsroom the cruise will offer a relaxed atmosphere for readers to mingle with some of the paper’s well-known talent.

Columnist Pete McMartin, Sun-ologist Shelley Fralic, gardening expert Steve Whysall, deputy editor Harold Munro, political pundit Vaughn Palmer, movie critic Katherine Monk and publisher Kevin Bent will all be aboard....



And how much does it cost to get all this 'access' to the newsmakers.....errrr...gatherers?

Well, have no fear!

You soon shall know, because that's all part of the news, too:

...Tickets for the cruise, which is on a Holland America ship, start at $889 before tax and tickets are limited in quantity...



Limited in quantity they say, breathlessly?

Oooooooohhhhh......

How newsworthy indeed!



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And what will happen if the weather does start getting rough on this three (+165) hour cruise.....Well, here's hoping that the courage of the fearless crew does, indeed, come through....Which, of course, begs the following question....We're pretty sure we can slot the cast of characters named in the 'news' report above into the approriate passenger roles (i.e. the Professor, and Thurston Howell, and Ginger, etc.) but who, exactly, will be the Skipper and his Little Buddy?
Hmmmm....We're not exactly sure, but....If you scroll on down, you may be able to take note of one completely unsubstantiated rumour amongst millions as to their not-so true/not bleedin' likely identity...
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..

...

....

.....

......

........

..........
.....Surprise!


OK.

Here's a real question for you....

If the fine fellows pictured above did accidentally, and perhaps not even on purpose, turn up on the cruise together (and we're absolutely, for absolute sure, not claiming that they will, especially given the low rent price tag, but if they did...), would any of the 'reporters' aboard actually, you know....

Report it?


(as news we mean)

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4 comments:

West End Bob said...

ROFLMAO, RossK!

Thanks ! ! ! !

Gary E said...

Heads up Ross K

This mornings Global News had Baldry on trying to make excuses for the upcoming budget. He started a statement thet went something like "Premiers Clark is trying to distance herself from......" and he was cut off. Coincidence? I think not. They are still trying to cove Campbells ass.

Rusty M said...

hahahahahha
i bet those reporters are just thrilled with this idea ...

RossK said...

Hey, Felix,

Send me an Email will ya...

I need to tell you something (and get a waver for that damnable 'There Are No Day Games In Vegas/Chocolate Roy' piece so that I can Audiozineify it).

pacificgazette at yahoo dot ca


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