Wednesday, March 26, 2008

Calling All Cons!



Let's play a game called 'Big Con Hunting', where the object of the game is to 'Game' everything in a really, really big way.


First, strip down to your skivvies.....

Next, pull on your elasticized, relax-bellied Shill-O-P(h)ants....

Then, get out the Cheetos and start by smearing orange warpaint all over the keyboard.....

Finally, let's go Huntin'!


First stop is the 'Site Of The BigDog Con' where you need to surf through to 'My Campaign', and then look for the 'Call Talk Radio' link.

Beside that link you will find the following extremely important question and follow-up exclamatory exhortation of sweet retribution.....

Tired of hearing the vested interests of the Liberals and the special interests of the NDP get their messages out via the media? Call in to a show yourself and fight back with the facts!

Once you have replied 'Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! Yes! 54 times and/or the precise length of time it takes you to watch your favorite 'Stephane Dion Loves To Bite The Head of Environmental Chickens' attack ad you have open in another window on your desktop, then hit that Talk Radio Link.

Upon reaching your destination, next select something like the StealthCon from VanQuadra's favorite 'topic' and type in her postal code, which will look something like this......

Then hit 'Next', which will bring you to a page where you will be told exactly what to do and what to say because, when you are 'Big Con Hunting' the really fun part is that you get to check every single one of your critical faculties at the door.

In fact, you lose points if dare to think for yourself or take responsibility for your statements and/or actions.

First action is to pick a local talk show to call, preferably with a duplicitous host (ie. avoid Dale Goldhawk of CPAC at all costs). If you live in the VanQuadra listening area we would suggest the always lovable and, of course, connable, Cluff Master Flash of the beastly CBC ,whose contact info will look like this.....

Once your call is picked up by a producer/call screener, follow the following instructions to the letter.....

Then, start spouting our 'Big Con Hunting' main game messages which we are proud to call 'Talking Points'....

Finally, make sure you get some shots in at the Liberals, the NDP, and the Bloc with great stuff like this....

But never, ever, ever trash The Greens because we love them and the votes they take away from the NDP and, especially low, hanging, Liberal fruit like this.

So, after all that, how will you know if you have won the 'BigConHunting' blue-and-white...'Shotgun Shell Of The Day'?

Well, it happens whenever the host gives you a free pass and you are able to post up 5 or more talking points per minute.

In the case of the CluffMaster Flash, you will win with considerable regularity because, just like you, he will very likely be reading directly from a cheat sheet also!

But most of all, never forget our favorite motto while gaming everything, which is:

'Just Play Dumb And You Will Have Fun!'

Because, chances are, if you love this game, you won't even have to 'Play'.

'Dumb', that is.


Original Link Source: Accidental Deliberations for Alexander Panetta's most excellent CPress piece in the Globe.


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