Wednesday, March 20, 2013

A Modest Bolly-Bike Proposal.


Boy, oh boy...

I see that the Tabby-Cat-In-Chief, aided and abetted by some of the usual suspects, has really stirred the pot by making a fuss about those two bike pumps that the City of Vancouver has installed at Science World and in Strathcona.

But here's the thing...

What if the Wizards of Snooklandia turned a massive, province-wide bike pump network into a giant jobs creation/save the environment scheme/project?


'Where would they get the money for such a thing that would put infrastructure in place for years and years and years and help reduce both gridlock and fossil fuel combustion?' I can already hear you whispering?


Let me see...

How many times can you divide the $12,000,000 that the Bogus-Bollywood Boondoggle is going to cost by the $3,000 that a fancy-schmancy pump will cost?

Hang on a sec while I get out my non 'New Christy Minstrel Math' calculator out.

By jove!

Now I think I've finally got it.

The number is four thousand.

Which means we could have bike pump for every hamlet in the province!

Including one right in front of that not-yet-built 10 storey wood-thingy that Pat Bell and Shirley Bond still have had absolutely nothing to do with in Prince George.

If you get my drift.

Of course, if the Wizards wanted to scale things down a bit to, say, a more manageable network of only 900 pumps they could always use that $2.7 million that is being given to the BC Lions to hold a one afternoon extravaganza of nothingness...Wonder how Mr. Bruce Allen, who is (at least according to his recent statement on a radio station I no longer listen to) also outraged  about the two pumps,  would howl about that?...After all, somebody's gotta book that half-time entertainment that our millions given to a private corporation, gratis, will be paying for...Right?



BipartisansRUs said...

Oh! What if they installed the 4000 free pumps and then sold ad space on the sides and used the revenue for Christmas gifts for foster kids in need!

RossK said...

Foster kids?

I thought Ms. Martin's sparkle ponies and unicorns had already whisked those poor children away to never-neverland.

All snark asid B'RUs...

I hear EXACTLY what you are saying.