Friday, March 29, 2013

Nevermind The Writ Dropping....The Real Campaign Has Already Begun!

....The Mr. Beer 'N Hockey Campaign, I Mean.

And a whole lotta stomping of the terra will be done at this uber-freak party-in-the-Cascadian-Lowlands before it all comes to an end on May 14th.

Here is the heavily edited lede from the first dispatch:

"I have been round all seven of the campaign offices now set up to headquarter their candidate's vote attracting efforts. I am now a member of three political parties and a supporter of one hopeless as a hunter on the moon independent. All the campaigns have agreed to start me out phoning potential voters on the phone.

That is what they do with people who do not know what the f*** they are doing. What they do not know is I do. "Hi, I'm Beer. I'm calling on behalf Fearless Leader X and Fearless Local Candidate Y. As you know Fearless Leader X has promised if elected he will both ensure the Canucks win the Stanley Cup and lower the price of beer. Can we count on your vote on May 14th?"

If you have not already heard a click when you are that far into your script chances are you are talking to someone leaning your candidate's way or already supporting him. Some people will talk your ear off about all kinds of crazy s***. One time, many years ago, an old dear told me she..."

Why did I stop there?


Even the good Docktor Thompson probably wouldn't have written the crazy stuff that comes next.


If you can take a shot of magically unrealistic, but gradually anarchistic, heaping of manifestiomysteriousness on a beautiful Friday morning that begat one of the biggest myth-making exercises of all...

That probably means that you should head over to Beer's and read the whole thing.




karen said...

Yup. I second that.

RossK said...



And I'm looking forward to the entire series.